I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she pinky promised me she was 18
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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