loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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