you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
