Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize