Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
