is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
