i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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