If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
