Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
