My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
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Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
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What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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