first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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