Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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