Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
