I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it's like iHOP with fire
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize