There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
