Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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