I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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