I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Still dying that you shit outside
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
