If i come over, it means nothing
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
