She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
