yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize