What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
