so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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