That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sarcasm needs its own font
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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