there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
