Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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