can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
