you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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