The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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