I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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