You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I believe in your delicious
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
