She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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