Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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