she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize