Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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