I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What a dumb baby whore.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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