I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
