in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize