I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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