Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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