I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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