I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the day after is always just damage control
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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