i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
