Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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