were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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