I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
