i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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