Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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