Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
