I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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