I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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