White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
