How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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