We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
