Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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