I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize