So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
