i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
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If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
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Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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